To say our current political arena is a dumpster filled with dirty diapers and used needles set ablaze by a flame from the devil’s member (penis) would be an understatement. If this year has taught me anything, other than becoming a part-time epidemiologist is as simple as following people on Twitter who’s opinions you agree with and regurgitating their “predictions” and “facts”, it’s that people who have strong opinions one way or the other have no problem sharing them with the world. I’m not that type of guy, though (unless you consider me sharing my hate for all things Pittsburgh). I’ve always kept my political opinions to myself.
Until today.
I have to be honest, I haven’t watched any of the debates. I didn’t have to. My stance has been set since day one and I don’t think there’s anything either one of the candidates could’ve done to sway my opinion. And that’s the fact that we need more variety in suit colors.
Why do all formal suits have to be dark blue, grey or black? Why can’t we mix it up? Nobody says boo when you wear a red shirt or a lime green hoodie. But god forbid you try to wear something outside of the box when trying to be professional. Why are we even wearing suits to begin with? Shouldn’t important decisions be made while you’re as comfortable as possible? It’s hard to make financial decisions or draft a foreign policy when the waistband is digging into your gut because the suit you bought 5-years and 20-pounds ago doesn’t have a flexible waistband like your Nike joggers. As someone who has to wear a suit once every 5-6 years, I’m speaking from experience. Do you know how many pairs of black pants I’ve had to buy the day before a wedding because my last purchased suit doesn’t fit any more? More than I care to count. A simple jog from time to time or skipping the late night Taco Bell trips once in a blue moon would’ve saved me hundreds of dollars throughout #WeddingSZN. But I have zero willpower and therefore have spent many Thursday and Friday evenings rushing to Kohl’s and Van Heusen hoping they have something that will match a jacket I already own with a comfortable flex-waist design.
If I have to wear a suit, I wanna express myself. If the only way I can show my political affiliation or cause I’m trying to support is by switching up the tie, then that’s not an America I wanna live in.
Ok, I partially take that back. Ken can keep doing what he’s doing if it’s for a good cause. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be allowed to grab a green suit out of the boys section at Burlington Coat Factory before the 107th Yankees-Red Sox broadcast of the summer.
Some of the most successful people on the planet have tried to start this trend, but society just keeps swatting them down one by one.
Maybe some day. That’s what I’m voting for in 2020. It’s what we should all vote for, if you love America.
Follow @BennyMacBlog
Junior BarCity 